42 Equals 13
Now my
first-grade son would say, “Mommy, that is not right.” But for my life, it is.
I will turn 42
years old this month, but I find myself not focusing on new wrinkles and body
aches, but on freedom. Freedom from the
bondage of depression. Freedom from the
temptation to slip back into my pit.
Freedom from thoughts of suicide as my only way out. Freedom granted to me by God’s healing and grace
13 years ago. For me, 42 equals 13.
Leave it to God
to choose to use us, his fallen, imperfect children, to do His work. At times, I am so surprised how He has called
me to serve Him. This hit me first when
I was pregnant with our son and then our daughter. That God would take me, a woman who once felt
worthless and useless, to be the vessel for new life…truly amazing! At times don't you find yourself laughing at
how He operates? So contrary to our expectations
at times.
Today, I found
myself thinking about my current callings and again found myself in awe of how
God sees in us what we cannot or will not see.
In me, He saw the person to lead Hope for Our Sisters (hopeforoursisters.org)
and Gathering for Hope (gatheringforhope.org), even though I spent years lost
in my pit with no way out or even a desire to climb out. He saw past that and knew I was destined for
more, if only I would take His hand and walk with Him.
Is it ironic or
fitting that I now speak for women and girls without hope, women and girls who
have been told they are worthless and useless – women and girls with
fistula? Does it make any sense that I
now encourage other women to find their calling and help restore the lives of
others on God’s behalf – when I once saw no need for my own life?
As you look at
your year ahead, I hope you will find your equation, find how God has come into
your life and made a change for the better.
May we not get lost in ourselves and our limitations, but may we get
lost in the adventure God has planned for us.
No matter your
equation or story, God will use you if you let Him. For me, 42 equals 13 equals freedom and for
that I am thankful!
