The First Step

The water is still, like glass, as I sit at its edge

-       Jesus, sitting with me, encourages me to step out,

-       Step out into the water

I hesitate…

What if I slip?

What if I lose my grip?

What if my energy for this cause drains away?

What if I don’t finish just like so many times before?

What if I fail?

This still pool of water awaits my step

-       It is there for me

Can the ripples of my stepping into my pool reach pools by which others sit?

-       Can they reach pools around the world?

-       A child’s pool stilled by dreams shattered

-       A woman’s pool stilled by hope taken

-       A man’s pool stilled by options lost

-       Pools of those living under oppression and injustice

-       Pools waiting to be stirred

I stand and pause…

Will I trust Him?

Will I take the risk?

Will I go in?

Will I take this step?

I take Jesus’ hand and we step into the water

- The ripples start slowly then gain momentum…rolling away

-       I pray they become unending ripples of God’s provision sent out, leaving hearts touched, souls awakened, and the oppressed free around the world

You are sitting by your still pool

-       You are not alone

-       Is it time for your first step?

Take His hand, trust Him, and go in…

© 2012 by Brooke F Sulahian

He waits for me

Exhausted…totally burned out and done.  From what?  From trying to control my life.  Trying to find answers to tomorrow, next week and next year.  Trying so hard for a glimpse into the future.  Trying to carry what God is supposed to carry.  Feeling weighed down and spent.

While I was busily looking under rocks, behind trees, in the water of the brook, and under fallen leaves for any sign of tomorrow and trying unsuccessfully to hoist heavy blessings and burdens upon my own back, Jesus, My Savior, sat quietly on my path.  The path God created just for me.  However, I was not walking along my path.  I was frantically seeking out further information, greater insight, and more control.  I like control…at least the idea of control.

I ran myself down.  I hit the end of my rope.  I was exhausted without perspective.  I had undone myself. 

He waited patiently for me to see Him…to notice Him.  So peacefully He sat.  So lovingly He gazed at me as if He wanted to stop me but knew He needed to let me run, search, and seek what I would never find or carry apart from Him.

God knows what I can handle and He gives that to me.  Why isn’t that enough?  He created a path for me, gave me Jesus to walk along with me and the Holy Spirit to indwell me.  Why do I not trust?

When I was totally spent, I sat with Him…He held me.  He was always there yet I turned another way and sought what I thought I wanted and needed.  Could I even handle the information I sought?  I am thankful He did not waver but let me see Him as my only answer, my only need, my only rock, my only guide along my path.

I gave it all to Him…all of my roles and concerns.  I once again laid them on the altar.  My role as wife, mother, student, and activist.  I laid on the altar my husband and children…may they soar as I let go.  Everything on my plate was lovingly placed along my path so Jesus can show me how to spend my time, so He can help me pursue my path, so He can truly guide me every step of the way.  All I have belongs to Him…right?

The hold and weight on my life left in that moment and my hands were free to embrace Jesus’ hands and to walk with Him.

He waited patiently for me and will do so again, and again, and again.  I will continue to leave my path but He will be there waiting for me to return.  May I venture from my path for shorter and shorter time periods as I learn to trust Him more and more.

“Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

© 2012 by Brooke F Sulahian

HOPE IS THE COLOR BLUE

As I awoke this morning, I expected a dark and dreary day.  The sky was filled with rain clouds, the morning sun was nowhere to be found, there was a cold feeling all around me.  This was not the welcome of a warm, sunny, hope-filled day.

I wondered if this is how each day looks to a women or girl suffering from fistula.  For many of these beautiful women and girls, today they will be facing yet another day spent in soiled clothing, isolated from family and friends, and living, or simply existing, without any hope.  Their lives filled with dark, overcast, dreary days.

As I continued to sit with God and pondered this in my heart, wondering when the rain would begin to fall, the clouds opened up and a beautiful blue sky was revealed for just a moment.  It took my breath away and I thought of the hope God has placed in each person's heart.  I immediately prayed that each woman and girl with fistula would hold onto this hope from God, even if it seemed fleeting at times, even if it only made itself known here and there throughout the day, even if it could barely be seen through the clouds of their lives, even if it seemed to be gone, vanished forever.

We at Hope for Our Sisters, Inc., are honored to be a part of the process in providing hope for these women and girls with fistula.  This hope takes the form of a free surgery, recovery time and new clothing...a significant outward symbol of their internal healing and renewed hope.

When each of us sees a blue sky, may we remember the gift of God's hope in our hearts and seek how we can share this hope with others.  It may be in a smile, a card dropped in a mailbox, an unexpected phone call, a warm meal, or even a fistula surgery.

Hope from God is the color blue and it is shining in our hearts!  May we all find it and help others find theirs today.

© 2012 by Brooke F Sulahian

Also posted on www.hopeforoursisters.org